Christian Dating Advice Article 1: Your list of personal requirements in a partner.

Many single Christians approach dating with a mental list of what they require in a potential partner. It could be that they want someone tall, dark and handsome (for a woman) or blonde and bubbly (for a man). There may be lots of other requirements not quite so obvious that they have clung to over the time that they have been dating. On the face of it having a mental list of “must haves” seems like a good idea for the single Christian. After all, nobody wants to make a big mistake and end up with a totally unsuitable person. However, in some ways if someone enters a relationship because the other person had a full list of ticks against the list then this could lead to problems once the real business of a relationship has started. It could also lead to someone not meeting the person God has for them because they don’t tick only one of the persons requirements.

Christian people change!

The truth is that people change and Christians are no exception. In fact we are called to change and while we change we may at times not be the same person as we were when we met the other person. This introduces a challenge into any relationship and calls for something special that non-Christians do not have. God has supplied us with His kind of love called “Agape”. This is the sacrificial kind of love and is essential for any kind of successful relationship to work in the long-term.

Don't abandon common sense!

So how does having God’s kind of love make a difference to how or whether we have a list of requirements in a potential date? It certainly doesn’t mean we abandon any idea of exercising discernment and judgement about who we should go out with. Common sense surrounded in prayer is the key here. For example: If you are a single Christian mother with two children and your potential date hates children then you need to question whether they are the right person for you. Someone who loves sport should not consider someone who hates it. These are common-sense compatibility issues that any single Christian using a Christian dating agency should consider

Draw on God's love

What God’s love means is that once we are in a relationship we must draw on God’s love to enable us to love that person even if they (at times) are not able to tick the place on the list when once they did. This moves the responsibility from them to us. Then when hard times come we will be used to loving God’s way and not expect perfection from the other person.

What about the list?

Well We wouldn’t recommend ditching it all together. But have another look at what you think is important and start looking for the kind of heart that is full of God’s grace rather than whether someone is tall, dark and handsome or blonde and bubbly!

Christian people change!

For other recommended reading on another site about Christian dating issues click here.