Won’t God just bring my partner to me? Why do I need to go looking?
Christian dating advice by ChristiansUK.com

As we were growing up in the Church one of the comments about dating that would sometimes be given to single Christians would be that if God is in charge of our lives He will bring our partners to us. This sounds very spiritual and faith-filled but, in our opinion, has led to thousands of disappointed single Christians. God is loving and He is faithful but He is also a sensible Father and wants us to become mature. No father continues to do everything for their children when they are grown up. Parents try to withdraw their assistance gradually as their children mature. If they didn’t do this children would not learn for themselves and would make simple mistakes later in life that would cost them dearly.

In what ways does God expect us to get things for ourselves?

If we think for a moment about our lives we can see that there are many practical things that we do every day that God has no hand in helping us with. These range from simply getting out of bed in the morning (I’ve never heard of anyone being pulled out of bed by God before!) or putting on our shoes. God will not do these things for us any more than our own parents would as we are now grown up. God does not grab the steering wheel when we start the car and take over the driving, and if we have an accident it is our fault not His! When we apply for a job we don’t expect God to go out and get qualifications for us if we haven’t studied or sit an interview in our place if we haven’t prepared for it. In the same way we can’t expect God to do our matchmaking for us either.

What about God’s plan for us?

It would not be right to ignore God’s direction for our lives as the Bible makes it clear that He does do this for His children. But there is a difference between driving us around and choosing the route to guiding us around the obstacles and routing us to the desired destination. The end result of our lives is not a place or a job or a situation but a character! If we think about this then we can stop worrying about “missing” God’s plan for us, as His plan is only one thing – our likeness to Christ.

But don’t I have to wait on Him for His leading?

By all means wait on God to know more about Him but don’t stop making decisions if He doesn’t directly speak. Remember, much of what He wants to say to us is already written in black and white. He will not add to that or contradict it. In the Bible if people had a need and this was not being supplied they got up and did something about it. God will not then dump your partner in your lap one day. Nor will He make that person take a different turn and happen to meet you in the street. It might happen and that would be fantastic if it did, but don’t rely on it or you are most likely to be disappointed.

Start to get active

Single Christians need to become pro-active about their dating and start going out and looking for their potential partners. This is not a lack of faith but is in fact the best kind of faith as it is said: “Faith without works is dead”. In other words if you say: “I have faith” but do absolutely nothing about it then your faith is just words.

So lets start getting out there, making new friends and having an adventurous life!