Why starting a long distance Christian dating relationship is rarely a good idea

The Internet encourages long-distance contacts

In the early days of Internet Christian dating services the opportunities for single Christians to focus their attention on meeting local Christians was limited. Large American websites dominated the scene and these contained a mix of single American Christians and those from all over the World. Single Christians wanting to meet others in their own State or County were faced with a bewildering array of choices and were not encouraged to choose those very local to themselves. The ease by which anyone could contact anyone else led to approaches being made by folks from across the other side of the country or even from other countries.

Flattery is hard to resist

It’s easy to feel flattered when someone emails you at any time and even more so when you find the person’s photo or profile attractive. There is a danger that instead of checking out where that persons lives and if this is a realistic distance to be conducting a sensible relationship it is easy to be swept along in excitement and end up going nowhere. Starting a long distance relationship is a risky endeavour at the best of times even if you knew that person well before you moved far apart. To start one without even knowing that person is foolish at best and dangerous at worst.

What we need is sensible thinking

At ChristiansUK.com we try to encourage sensible thinking in all areas of dating and relationships. In our opinion to start a long distance relationship is adding an extra obstacle that you could well do without. Often it seems easier to conduct a “relationship” with someone by email or over the phone as you do not have to cope with the real ups and downs of being close to someone. Their faults and failings seem lessened because you are not being confronted with them every day.

Date someone within easy reach

Dating someone who lives within easy reach allows you to get to them and their friends. The danger of a long-distance relationship is that you cannot be quite sure if the person is being genuine and since you will most likely be seeing less of their friends too you have less confidence about what they are like either. Having your friends and their friends as witnesses to how your friendship is going is important for supporting you in difficult times and also to give you advice if it seems that the relationship is on a wrong footing to begin with.

Our advice, if you are considering mailing someone who lives more than a couple of hours away is not to consider it. We hear of too many disappointed people who have entered into such relationships and it is so unnecessary when there are many people within easy reach who can be contacted.

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